The fourth trimester? Postpartum the raw and unfiltered version

Why is it that no one ever talks about the fourth trimester?  The postpartum era!  It's like every pregnancy book goes over the first, second and third trimester and what to expect when you are pregnant but I've never really read one that gave you a perspective on what happens after you give birth.  I mean who knew there was so much   excitement, changes and chaos that you have to look forward to after you give birth.  

Yeah it could be that every women and even every baby is different and so everyone's postpartum experience is different EVERY SINGLE TIME, but there are some similarities and norms to expect after giving birth.  I think that there should be a book that talks about what could happen.  Not necessarily to scare people but instead to inform others of what could happen, what some experiences have happened to others, and what you are going through at the time is totally and completely normal. 

I feel like women don't talk a lot about their experiences after the birth.  Yes, I know everyone that has ever been pregnant has heard at least 10 horrible birth stories, but who was ever told about the same person's recovery and postpartum era.  It's almost like a right of passage that women have to go through the whole pregnancy up into the birth of the baby until others share their hospital or postpartum stories.  I for one would like that to all change so that other women know that yes this could happen, no it might not, but I guess I would rather be informed and take my chances. 

This is a raw unfiltered picture of me 24 hours after this last pregnancy.  24 hours after c-section.  24 hours after giving birth to a wonderful and amazing little human!   This picture was taken right after I had taken my shower and I thought at the time I looked "pretty good."  Little did I know that my body was on a little high of being a "new mom" again for the fourth time.  Little did I know what even though I had been through postpartum care 2 other times, none of them would be the same.   

Now don't get me wrong my postpartum experience was nothing super crazy or some disastrous outcome but it was more of a wake up call to let me know that I'm not superwomen and sometimes you need to let go of control and embrace others wanting to help you out. 

With the twin boys I had a c-section that was strongly recommended from the perinatologist that was overlooking my whole pregnancy.  She said that because baby B, Paxton, had a marginal cord insertion with the umbilical cord and having such a difference in weight from baby A, Cyril, that having a c-section was the safest way to have the boys.  I learned early on in my first pregnancy to embrace what pregnancy threw at me and for that I feel blessed.  My water broke in the middle of the night at 36 1/2 weeks and the surgery/delivery went all very fast.  The only thing I felt during the whole time was a horrible pain in my right shoulder but as I was getting stitched back up Carl went over to take what pictures he could of the boys so that he could show me.  The huge team of doctors and nurses whisked the boys away to the NICU for tests while I shoed Carl to follow and relay what was all happening as I started the recovery process.  

My recovery started with about 2 hours of the shakes followed by huge void of delivering two boys and not being able to see them, hold them or even know what was happening.  Luckily the nurses were very kind and said that I just needed to stay in my bed for 7-8 hours to recover and then they would be able to take me up to the NICU by wheelchair to see the boys.  The nurses came in at 8:00am, took out my catheter, got me out of my bed very slowly and I was in the wheelchair to the NICU to see the twins in their room.  Being that it was my first pregnancy and being under 30 years old, I recovered pretty fast.   I think it also had to do with the fact that I was very motivated to get up and keep moving and walking just so that I could go over to the NICU and see my new little babies. 

With Piper it was a completely different story, the only similarity with this pregnancy was that my water broke in the middle of the night.  I had a VBAC with her and was in labor for 23 hours with over 3 hours of pushing.  I remember the doctor saying okay we only need one more push and she will be out so do you want me to put her on your chest or have dad take her.  Me being completely exhausted and throwing up while pushing told her to have Carl take her so that I could compose myself before handling a little human.  I felt completely weak and exhausted and so full of emotions and pain.  There was another lady who was in line and ready to give birth so the doctor got whisked away fast so that she could deliver another baby and the nurses took over caring for me.  It was 9:00pm at night and I was sore, tired, and famished. 

With my recent pregnancy, being that this was our 4th and final child, I went in for a scheduled c-section and tubal removal on March 1st.  In case anyone is wondering, a tubal removal is a fairly new procedure where they actually remove the tubes instead of a doing a tubal ligation.  Research has shown that ovarian cancers actually start in the tubes and so this is a way of prevention.  I went in early in the morning got situated in our room, started the whole process and it was very laid back.  I walked into the operating room with my IV bag, the anesthesiologist did his job and surgery started.  All went well and Finley was born healthy.  She let out 1 cry when she came out and then was very chill and relaxed the rest of the time.  Once again I felt horrible pain in my right shoulder that lasted longer since the surgery took a little longer preforming the tubal removal.  Once I was stitched back up, the shoulder pain was gone and I was taken back to my room, with Carl wheeling Finley, where I started recovery.  I was expecting to have the horrible shakes again and I did not have them at all this time.  Things were going a lot better and I felt great initially.  I got out of my bed the first time about 10 hours later and I had to learn how to sit up, stand, and walk again.  The next morning they removed my catheter and I was able to get up when I needed.  I took a shower, ordered a full breakfast, and spent time with my lovely and supportive husband and new little girl.  Starting about 36 hours postpartum I started to feel horrible, my shoulder pain came back in full force and was throbbing but this time it didn't go away.  This time the shoulder pain was accompanied by shortness of breathe.  This pain lead to hormonal tears that lead to uncontrollable crying, which lead to even worse shoulder pain and difficulty breathing.  Man I was a mess and little did I know that all this pain was caused by gas.  There was so much gas built up in my body that it was causing all this havoc.  I mean all I needed to do was fart!  Sounds pretty easy but it wasn't.  Because my body was older, it was my third pregnancy, and I had a tubal done, my body wasn't recovering as fast as I remember from my first pregnancy.  Once I finally opened up about how much pain I was in, my amazing nurses gave me some much needed farting pills and heating packs upon heating packs.  I was able to get up and move more which meant I was able to get things moving more.  Once I started farting everything seemed to get a little bit better.

This is what Finley thinks about not being able to fart!

For all the ladies that might be pregnant or planning to get pregnant in the future, I decided to jot down some helpful hints to help you through your recovery and your fourth trimester:

* Recovery time is different for everyone and every time.  It's harder to recover the older you are and it's also takes more time to recover after each additional child. 

*Embrace the giant underwear and pads, they will be your friend for awhile!

*24 - 48 hours after birth is way worse than right after.  Have guests come early and maybe limit visitors the second day for recovery (learning to breastfeed or bottle feed, taking care of you, learning to walk, going to the bathroom and eating is more work than you think).

*Walk and drink water as much as possible.

*Embrace the high fiber foods: peaches, pears, prune juice, oatmeal, popcorn, yogurt, and coffee.

*Embrace pain meds!  And then try to cut yourself back as needed.  Pain meds can slow the digestive tract.  There will be discomfort, but try to handle as much pain as possible once leaving hospital and at home, but don't be a hero.  You know your own pain tolerance.

*Don't be afraid to ask what you need.  No one knows what your thinking so learn to be direct!  

*Don't say sorry as much, I always did this and my husband finally said stop saying sorry I'm here for you.  I later realized and told him what I meant by sorry is "I love you and thank you" every time I said sorry.

*Tell the nurses everything, they can't help you if they don't know every symptom.

*It's amazing how a little hot pack and ice pack can help in your recovery.  Embrace them!

*Your mind is your worst enemy!  Your hormones will take over at some point and make you feel super down.  Find someone in your circle that is a great listener and just start talking.  You will feel so much better.

*Now is not the time to try to be super women.  Let your husband/significant other help take care of you and the baby.  You take care of yourself.  Remove pride of being strong.

And finally & very, very helpful!  Never underestimate the power of a good fart!  A body full of gas and hormones is a great recipe for disaster and pain.

And now because I really didn't write this to scare anyone, I will tell you that luckily the 4th trimester is short in the spectrum of life.  Yes, it seems long while you are in it but just know that it is all worth it in the end.  The pain will fade over time.  The hormones start to go back to normal and then you are left with what matters the most: Your new, wonderful, and adorable little human!